Could Uncle Sam Have Developed an Ebola Vaccine for $39,643,352?

This week’s Golden Fleece Award, surrounded by a garland of dunce caps, goes to the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

Instead of using $39,643,352 to improve Americans’ health (Ebola vaccine, anyone?), NIH burned your tax money for such idiocy as:

• $2,873,440 to figure out why lesbians are obese (could it be that they eat too much?)
• $466,642 on why fat girls can’t get dates (because they’re not attractive to thin boys?)
• $674,590 sending texts to drunks at bars to get them to stop drinking (makes us want to have a drink).

We could go on, but you get the idea. In a future issue we’ll tell you about NIH’s Origami condoms.

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