Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook RSS


Portland Strikes Again!

Wednesday, July 13, 2016


It wasn’t enough that the Portland City Council went $33 million over budget on accounting and payroll software that came in 16 months late. Or that they wasted $30 million on a failed water and sewage computer billing system.

Now the wizards in Liberal La La Land have wasted $3.9 million on a bungled permitting software system.

So badly bungled was it that the City dumped the vendor. And for this waste of tax dollars Rose City Commissioners earn our Golden Fleece Award.

Future IT ventures will be, for Portland, a triumph of hope over experience.


How Many Times Does Poochie Shake Before He’s Dry?

Thursday, June 30, 2016

GoldenFleeceLike you, we’ve often pondered this question. Now we have the answer.

According to Senator Jeff Flake, the National Science Foundation (NSF) tossed $390,000 of your dollars to brainiacs at Georgia Tech to solve this ancient mystery. Among their revelations:

  • Dogs they studied shook off 70% of their wetness in 4 seconds & shook 5-7 times per second
  • Kangaroos shook 5 times a second; bears 4 times
  • Armadillos don’t shake at all (who’d have thought that?)

For this waste of your money the NSF earns its 7th Golden Fleece Award.

And did we mention that mice stand on their hind legs to shake?


Did They Snort Or Mainline? And Did They Put Lampshades On Their Heads?

Wednesday, June 15, 2016


Today’s Golden Fleece Award for government waste of your money goes to University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana researcher Gene Robinson.

According to waste detector Sen. Jeff Flake, Gene scorched $242,600. But it was all worth it because he discovered that when honeybees get hopped up on cocaine they’re “about twice as likely to dance.”


A Shocking Discovery

Wednesday, June 1, 2016


“Walking with coffee: Why does it spill?” Determined to answer this age old question, the University of California at Santa Barbara blew a good chunk of $172,283 provided to it in a Department of Defense (DOD) grant.

Researcher Rouslan Krechetnikov’s astounding conclusion? The best way to keep your coffee in your cup is “to use a lid, and maybe fill your coffee cup a little less.” Shocking – but true.

For this waste of your money the DOD gets this week’s Golden Fleece Award. And our thanks go to past Senator Jeff Flake for exposing this idiocy.


Is Your Pooch Dressed To The “Canines”?

Thursday, May 19, 2016

GoldenFleeceThe Department of Housing and Urban Affairs doesn’t think so. That’s why they tossed a $210,000 bone to Maine based Maine Stitching Specialties, producers of Dog Not Gone pet products. And for that we give them our Golden Fleece Award for government waste.

According to Senator Jeff Flake in his Wastebook, this recipient of your tax dollars designs doggy essentials like hot pink and neon green dog vests for L.L. Bean and Orvis. They’ll spend your bucks “for more equipment and working capital.”

We label this a doggone hound-dumb waste of money you worked for.


$10 Million of Your Tax Dollars Scorched

Thursday, May 5, 2016

GoldenFleeceWhere would you find spending standards even looser than Obamacare? You guessed it – Salem. That’s why we give this week’s Golden Fleece Award for wasteful government spending to the Oregon Health Plan (OHP), which blew $10 million in 2014 on excessive overhead.

Our OHP wizards launched “reforms” two years ago and sold them as money savers. Then, according to a Health & Human Services audit, they ignored federal requirements that private insurance companies spend 85% of their funds on medical costs and only 15% on overhead.

Maybe they thought it was the other way around. Oh, well, it wasn’t their money.


Golden Fleece Award – Issue 114

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

GoldenFleeceOK, so it’s only $90,000. But it’s our $90,000 they’re scorching! And that’s why we’re giving our Golden Fleece Award for government waste to our pals at the State Department.

Here’s what we’re getting for our money – films, art and other claptrap designed to promote “mutual understanding” between Yanks and Brits!

We think our “mutual understanding” is terrific and this is just another waste project. But we would like to understand why Brits:

  • drink warm beer
  • watch a TV show called “Numberwang”
  • call Liverpool residents “Liverpudlians”
  • drive on the wrong side of the road

If State Dept. wizards can cue us in on these oddities maybe we’ll take our award back.


Oregon’s $29 Million “Oops”

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

GoldenFleeceAccording to Grant County’s Blue Mountain Eagle, the Oregon Health Authority (OHA), made a “calculation error” in payments to foster homes for the mentally ill that resulted in overpayments of $29 million of your tax dollars.

And for this little oversight we award OHA our Golden Fleece Award for government waste.

We’re silly (crazy?) enough to wonder if anyone will be held accountable. We know if we’d ever made a $29 million “calculation error” in our jobs we’d have very soon been testing the magic of the marketplace as we pounded the pavement looking for new work.


Just What The World Needs – Feminist Glaciology

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

GoldenFleeceFirst it was feminist computers (Lane Solutions #101). Now it’s Feminist Glaciology. And for the National Science Foundation (NSF) it’s Golden Fleece Award #13!

That’s right. Thanks to paying your “fair share” tax we now know that “Ice is not just ice.” And that, as reported in The Wall Street Journal, “The feminist glaciology framework draws attention to those who dominate the production of glaciological knowledge…”

We don’t know what this nonsense cost, but we do know who picked up the tab for it…you.

And did we mention NSF paid to create this nonsense by researchers at (drum roll, please)…our very own University of Oregon?

We suggest tossing a bucket of ice on it and calling it “frigid.”


Ever Consider A Nice, Relaxing Vacation in Lebanon?

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

GoldenFleeceProbably not. It’s not for nothing that the State Dept. warns Americans “to avoid all travel to Lebanon because of ongoing safety and security concerns.” That’s because Lebanon’s a salt lick for every whacked-out Mideast terrorist.

But, according to Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ), that didn’t stop the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) from scorching $2.1 million of your dollars on programs to (are you ready for it?) promote tourism to Lebanon!

That’s right. And that’s why these sub-room-temperature-IQ bureaucrats get this week’s Golden Fleece Award. We say “Let’s give ‘em all one way tickets to Beirut!”